Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

its performative

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

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Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

you cannot feed someone truth

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

in a post. I want to be remembered

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.

Lift Analysis

autonomy of learning

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

propensity within someone

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.