with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

yes

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

in a post. I want to be remembered

currently

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

Better Lift

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

all that is to say

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

we can only engage in such a way

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

so at the end

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

it is hopeful

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.