I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

no longer writing in the third person

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

1

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Worse Lift

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

it is hopeful

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

"Put a blanket."

It Will Get Lighter

Picture

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

hiding from the rain

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

It's dusk in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox. It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache. I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Slug

and the fake qualifier