Today I felt like starting

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.


i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

plato

like first name

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

what do you mean

i was tempted to lie about my name

abrar?

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Better Lift

god being the centre magnet

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24


i understand

autonomy of learning

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46


yeah

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.