like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Picture

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

13, H, grate

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall. 

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

currently

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

autonomy of learning

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

"Put a blanket."

Better Lift

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

we need to be deconstructing our identities

magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you

i understand

Actual born-Londoners aren't LARPing like this, they sold their shite family home for a million pounds and moved to Malaga years ago. They have their culture and they've taken it elsewhere.