barren land

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

all that is to say

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

you cannot feed someone truth

It Will Get Lighter

IWGD

Thank you, Jack

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

was it worth it

god being the centre magnet

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

your feed looks like my tumblr

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

i want to do that too

It Will Get Lighter

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities