i really havent
Can I see
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
I am below everything.
it is hopeful
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
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yes
...
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
...
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
its good
its good
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
magnetisation/form