Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

It Will Get Lighter

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

1

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Can I see

in a post. I want to be remembered

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Thank you, Jack

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.