Today I felt like starting
hiding from the rain
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
autonomy of learning
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
send link
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
i want to do that too
what do you think my name is
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting
the site i am dreaming
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
abrar?