amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

hiding from the rain

Worse Lift


or never left

i understand

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

It Will Get Lighter

currently

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos


magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you

god being the centre magnet

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

plato

A roll of 50s is one of the items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

i see a website

not their contents

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

its good

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

magnetises a pin

Pimlico Rats