Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
so at the end
much more tactility
its performative
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
so an active mazelike process
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
all that is to say
you have a beautiful account btw
so the method has to be autonomous
but i respect your search
ahnaf abrar
Lift Analysis
...
what do you mean
your feed looks like my tumblr
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books