theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i
want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game
engine
you know who you are. no more time, not like
1
. way too
specific.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my
silmarillion, my tempelos
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
really i want the internet
I Write Goodbye Letter
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
Worse Lift
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for
entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in
films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's
YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find
the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into,
to remind you of Real London.
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media,
both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
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