i love it here

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

much more tactility

Worse Lift

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I am below everything.

"Put a blanket."

division of reality is straying away from it

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

its good

A roll of 50s is one of the items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

not their contents

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class