I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

13, H, grate

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

we can only engage in such a way

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

not their contents

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really." 
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in a post. I want to be remembered

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

currently

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

...

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

and the fake qualifier

magnetisation/form

so an active mazelike process

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it