and the fake qualifier

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

like first name

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

...

i really havent

no like which do people call me

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

ahnaf abrar

fw

or never left

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

i want to do that too

its good

yeah

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

what do you mean

I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.

The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into, to remind you of Real London.

was it worth it

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

send your tumblr

is everyoneback on tumblr now

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate


Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

I Write Goodbye Letter

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.