He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.

so the method has to be autonomous

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

autonomy of learning

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

much more tactility

It Will Get Lighter

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

"Put a blanket."

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.