ahnaf abrar

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Rain, starting

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

It Will Get Lighter

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Thank you, Jack

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.


I Write Goodbye Letter

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

currently

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine

was it worth it

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?


but i respect your search

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike