we need to be deconstructing our identities

its good

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

But seriously, thank you, Jack

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

Thank you, Jack

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

what do you mean

so an active mazelike process

which magnetises chains of pins

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

is this you as well

was it worth it

you have a beautiful account btw

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

ahnaf abrar

really i want the internet