a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

no longer writing in the third person

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Worse Lift

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I am below everything.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

hiding from the rain

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

lol yea

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

so the method has to be autonomous

barren land

division of reality is straying away from it

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03