so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

Today I felt like starting

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.


"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

        13       |
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            H   |
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. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

you cannot feed someone truth

autonomy of learning

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

division of reality is straying away from it

I am below everything.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever