I am below everything.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

Rain, starting

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

not their contents

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

It's

dusk

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

so at the end

Thank you, Jack

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

i understand

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

feel you

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books