I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

it is hopeful

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

was it worth it

lol yea

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

what do you think my name is

plato

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.