It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

I am below everything.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Worse Lift

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

not their contents

you have a beautiful account btw

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

i was tempted to lie about my name

or never left

barren land

Style

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

we need to be deconstructing our identities

idk

we can only engage in such a way

like first name

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

Pimlico Rats

December 2025

"No, it'll get cold!" "Put a tut ahh put a-"

its good

in a post. I want to be remembered