Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

really i want the internet

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

is this you as well

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

ahnaf abrar

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

feel you

all that is to say

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

was it worth it

abrar?

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."