There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.

I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

i really havent

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

ahnaf abrar

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

have you read

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

Actual born-Londoners aren't LARPing like this, they sold their shite family home for a million pounds and moved to Malaga years ago. They have their culture and they've taken it elsewhere.

...

god being the centre magnet

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

Lift Analysis

what do you mean

its good

the site i am dreaming

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

ion

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

we can only engage in such a way