there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like
text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru
shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by
(oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always
interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read
texts.
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
so an active mazelike process
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream
education now
Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?
which magnetises chains of pins
way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it
god being the centre magnet
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my
silmarillion, my tempelos
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It Will Get Lighter
bro i read nothing in my life
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
i got bored though
because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to
stick at it longer
to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story
a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling
something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever
but the thinking is useful
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.