we need to be deconstructing our identities
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine
i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
but really the thing should be autonomous
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it