but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Rain, starting

1

Picture

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Worse Lift

no longer writing in the third person

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59