to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

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but i respect your search

you cannot feed someone truth

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

13, H, grate

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

Thank you, Jack

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

1

not so on: yvf(wthw)

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

brb i will read and reply sincerely

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.