bro i read nothing in my life

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

it is hopeful

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Style

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Thank you, Jack

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Worse Lift

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.

hiding from the rain

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

Better Lift

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

propensity within someone

...

He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

you have a beautiful account btw

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

It Will Get Lighter

He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

The studio designs some piece of media to perpetuate the marketable concept of Real London, while the real London is hollowed out by hollow bankers or whatever. Not pulling on that thread. But the yuppies don't mind because they're free to iterate on Real London without any competition from real London because it's too concerned with its slow eradication. And there's nice flats to live in now or whatever. The yuppies can begin to inhabit their Real London.