One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

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"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

i was tempted to lie about my name

feel you

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation


like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

really i want the internet

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

god being the centre magnet

ahnaf abrar

2 (actually index). two is company

It Will Get Lighter


Better Lift

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.

its good short few pages

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything