but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

currently

Today I felt like starting

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

hiding from the rain

it is hopeful

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl

no longer writing in the third person

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

propensity within someone

all that is to say