way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

13, H, grate

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

Style

much more tactility

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

kind of mythopoesis

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

Can I see

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

It Will Get Lighter

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

but i respect your search

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

what do you think my name is

bro i read nothing in my life