I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
was it worth it
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
god "possessing" artists "possessing" people
no longer writing in the third person
feel you
and the fake qualifier
its good short few pages
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
I am below everything.
was it worth it