I'm sat out the front of a cafe in Hatton Garden. I've just eaten a brie and
bacon panini, and I'm rolling a cigarette. Feeling very London. An old man
comes up to me and asks for a roll-up. I oblige.
The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for
entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in
films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's
YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find
the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into,
to remind you of Real London.
I Write Goodbye Letter
The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met
at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This
actor had scored a minor role in
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had
gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.
2 (actually index). two is company
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️
confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with
it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.
Actual born-Londoners aren't LARPing like this, they sold their shite family
home for a million pounds and moved to Malaga years ago. They have their
culture and they've taken it elsewhere.
He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to
set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into
real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.
It Will Get Lighter
what do you think my name is
Pimlico Rats
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry
class
and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging