with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

i was tempted to lie about my name

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes. The conversation drifts to the pleasantness of warm lighting and whether anyone needs a smart home. I interrupt her to make a joke about the French Raj as he runs up the causeway. We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

feel you