that looks like my instagram account
and the fake qualifier
fw
idk
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
what do you think my name is
send your tumblr
yeah
isaac
A roll of 50s is one of the items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
sorry i am texting like a slav
As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.
lol
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
no like which do people call me
My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
lol yea
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
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