currently
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
it is hopeful
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Today I felt like starting
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
no longer writing in the third person
I am below everything.
"Put a blanket."
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.