I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
so at the end
i love it here
plato
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
hiding from the rain
is this you as well
division of reality is straying away from it
in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation
i want to do that too
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
was it worth it
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
Today I felt like starting
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
ahnaf abrar
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
feel you