the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

like magnets

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

not so on: yvf(wthw)

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

2 (actually index). two is company

Thank you, Jack

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

no longer writing in the third person

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

its performative

but really the thing should be autonomous

Lift Analysis

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

13, H, grate

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever