a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was
HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that
the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece
in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality
should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic
hypertext
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i
didn’t watch it then
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the
morning, when I'm not quite right.
Lift Analysis
Overall meaning: The dream seems to
explore vulnerability, unspoken
emotion, and
the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.
part of an old note. It will get lighter.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry
class
no longer writing in the third person
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and
impulsively.
how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the
excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
