it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

kind of mythopoesis

but i respect your search

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

what do you think my name is

so an active mazelike process

like first name

fw

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

idk

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

we need to be deconstructing our identities

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue