Rain, starting

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

but i respect your search

all that is to say

Thank you, Jack

you cannot feed someone truth

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50


I am below everything.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos


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...


its performative

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me