was it worth it
i really havent
ahnaf abrar
in a post. I want to be remembered
and the fake qualifier
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.
so the method has to be autonomous
i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
bro i read nothing in my life
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
its good
autonomy of learning
I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.
like magnets
feel you
I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.
so at the end
After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.