that looks like my instagram account

Picture

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

It Will Get Lighter

it is hopeful

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

1

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Rain, starting

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

I am below everything.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

in a post. I want to be remembered

13, H, grate

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos