Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

I am below everything.

no longer writing in the third person

Rain, starting

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

Better Lift

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Worse Lift

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

so at the end

you have a beautiful account btw

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

i have read not even 1 book

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

so an active mazelike process