was it worth it
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
Today I felt like starting
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.Thank you, Jack
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
in a post. I want to be remembered
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
but really the thing should be autonomous
all that is to say
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
its performative
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
fw
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
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