I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

so the method has to be autonomous

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

I am below everything.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

1

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

magnetisation/form

as in

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

its performative

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

"Put a blanket."

2 (actually index). two is company

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

all that is to say

so an active mazelike process

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

not so on: yvf(wthw)

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

no longer writing in the third person