i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

autonomy of learning

in a post. I want to be remembered

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

all that is to say

It Will Get Lighter

The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into, to remind you of Real London.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

so the method has to be autonomous

Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.

i really havent

was it worth it