After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

currently

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

hiding from the rain

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage. 

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ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

in a post. I want to be remembered

1

no longer writing in the third person

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

as in

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

so the method has to be autonomous

magnetisation/form

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

IWGD

we can only engage in such a way

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

or never left

Rain, starting

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

all that is to say

barren land

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation